Season Three
by RandHrfan
Summary: The season three that never happened...A MUST READ!
1. Big Me scene one

Joan of Arcadia Season Three

A/N: so, like many other fans of Joan of Arcadia I was heartbroken when they canceled it, soooooo here is my version of season three, if it had stayed on air…

(oh p.s. please send me ideas of episodes and plot lines, I will give credit to those who helped with ideas, and just like tv ratings, the more you readers review and rate, the more likely I'll be to upload and write more episodes.)

I'll name the actual episodes after they are finished, so the chapters will be scenes until they are complete and then I'll combine them into one long chapter under that episode's name.

Episode One: Scene One

(_The sun shines brightly over Arcadia as LUKE and JOAN walk to school.)_

LUKE: Joan, what's your problem with that Ryan guy?

JOAN: I just don't like him. Ever get the feeling that something is wrong with someone without being able to pinpoint what it is?

LUKE: Yeah, it's just—

JOAN: Luke, I get it. It was a rhetorical question.

LUKE: Okay.

(_They walk past an older woman she is trimming a hedge)_

WOMAN: Hello.

LUKE: Hi.

(LUKE _continues walking ahead.)_

WOMAN: Joan, you didn't say hello to me.

JOAN: God! What are you doing?

WOMAN: You know it's rude not to say hello back to someone.

JOAN: Fine! Hello, _God_.

WOMAN: That's better. Now, I want you to go over Grace's house today, she needs a friend.

JOAN: I thought that's what Luke is for. And plus, she'll freak out!

WOMAN: Then don't go, Joan…freewill.

JOAN: (chuckling) Freewill, HA! It's never freewill with you.

WOMAN: Don't be late for physics, and get those applications in for college.

JOAN: I did!

WOMAN: No, I want you to apply to something less local. Like in New York City.

JOAN: Wha--!

WOMAN: Joan, you're going to be late.


	2. Big Me scene two

Scene Two:

(_Joan enters to the school and goes to meet up with Grace however she cannot seem to find her anywhere.)_

_to LUKE_ JOAN: Where's Grace?

LUKE: Your guess is as good as mine.

JOAN: (_glancing around the hallway)_ I really need to talk to her…

LUKE: Well, did you ask Adam?

JOAN: (_gives him a pissed off look_) No, I didn't.

(_Bell rings, JOAN and LUKE run off to physics. Once there, they quickly see that GRACE and ADAM are not there.)_

MS. LISCHAK: Female Girardi! L. G.! Thank you for so kindly joining us…Joan it looks like you're out some lab partners. Friedman please join Miss Girardi for the remainder of class.

JOAN: But—

MS. LISCHAK: No buts! Now Physics!

JOAN: Ms. Lischak, I have to go to the bathroom.

Ms. LISCHAK: Fine, go! But please take to the speed of light. L.G.! What is the speed of light?

LUKE: Umm…

MS. LISCHAK: Girardi! spending a little too much time with Miss Polk?

LUKE: No! I—I know the answer. It's umm…it's—

FRIEDMAN: 299, 792, 458 meters per second.

MS. LISCHAK: Very good Mr. Friedman.

(_MS. LISCHAK goes on talking about physics, while LUKE and FRIEDMAN talk)_

FRIEDMAN: Luke where is Grace?

LUKE: Honestly, I have no idea, I talked to her last night and she was fine…wait…The Synagogue—with her dad.

FRIEDMAN: I was there last night, it's really bad. Rabbi Polansky is er…

LUKE: Deeply troubled?

FRIEDMAN: More like a total mess. Dude, his dad built that synagogue!

(_JOAN is in the bathroom washing her hands when she sees GRACE's boots under one of the stalls.)_

JOAN: Grace?

GRACE: Leave me alone Girardi.

JOAN: Grace you have to talk about it sometime!

GRACE: No I don't.

JOAN: Yes you do, it was a tragedy, and you have to talk about it.

GRACE: (_opening the door, red eyed._) Joan, maybe I'm not the girly type, who has to talk about her problems.

(_GRACE exits ,WOMAN GOD enters.)_

WOMAN GOD: Joan.

JOAN: Oh dear God!

WOMAN GOD: In the flesh—so to speak. FYI when it comes to Grace, I said she needed a friend now, not another reporter. So don't force her to talk about it if she doesn't want too.

JOAN: Then what am I supposed to do?

WOMAN GOD: You'll figure it out, in the mean time work on getting to know Ryan a little more; the more you know someone the more you know the way they…tick. Bye Joan.


	3. Big Me scene three

Before I begin Scene Three of Episode three of season three, I wanted to respond to a note…and possibly a form of reassurance to some of the readers:

Luke and Grace—they're staying together, but don't be surprised if they fight one or two times, cause honestly, that's their relationship.

I'm not a huge fan of the cop aspect, obviously, I will put it in here and there, but I'll need to have suggestions on that one, cause I have no idea where to begin with it.

The old God images that we've so fondly grown to love will remain in the show, in fact, you may see one or two in this episode…

Kellz Bellz, thank you for the review, I'm totally taking into consideration some of your ideas… also thank you elegos-sirinial-shamtul. I love long reviews, I'm doing this for the fans, and myself, so I want input.

Scene Three

(_Biology room: LUKE and GRACE)_

LUKE: Grace…you're in school!

GRACE: Yeah, wait, why are you in here?

LUKE: Even when you're not in, I come here on the designated time…keep up my appearances or rather—

GRACE: disappearances.

GRACE: Ew…

LUKE: Did you just--?

GRACE: Finish your sentence?

LUKE: Okay, enough! (_chuckles GRACE leans in with a kiss)._

LUKE: Not so fast; are you okay?

GRACE: I don't want to talk about it…(_LUKE gives her a look)_ honestly no, but I have to be okay with it in front of people because my dad isn't and my mother is too drunk to care.

_(LUKE looks at GRACE lovingly, and pulls her into a hug as she begins to cry on his shoulder, patting her head to calm her down, he whispers gentle words of comfort into her ear.)_

LUKE: It'll be okay, Grace.

GRACE: (_whispered)_…Luke.

(_They kiss as scene fades to black)_

_**PLEASE REVIEW!!**_


	4. Big Me scene four

Scene Four

_(JOAN is walking home from school. The wind begins to pick up just as RYAN comes into view)_

JOAN: Oh God…

RYAN: Oh, hello Joan.

JOAN: Get away from me.

RYAN: Come on now Joan, I'm not a bad guy.

JOAN: I know what you did.

RYAN: Really? So tell me what did I do?

JOAN: You burnt down the synagogue!

RYAN: And what proof do you have?

JOAN: er…

RYAN: You don't have any…and that's because I didn't do it. Joan, just because you don't like me, doesn't mean I'm a bad guy.

(_RYAN walks past her, the wind gusting behind him)_

JOAN: (_Calling after him)_ And seriously, what's with the wind?

(_RYAN then waves his hand in the air and it begins to down pour.)_

JOAN: JESUS CHRIST

CUTE BOY GOD: He's not coming yet, Joan.

JOAN: What?

CUTE BOY GOD: My son. He's not coming back yet…well technically it was me, but really only I understand the concept of the Trinity.

JOAN: I didn't mean that.

CUTE BOY GOD: Then why did you say his name?

JOAN: Because I was using your name in vein.

CUTE BOY GOD: I know, anyways, I want you to make your confirmation.

JOAN: I thought that was my mom's thing.

CUTE BOY GOD: It is, I want you to make it too. You're going to be defending your faith soon, on a larger level than ever before, and I want you to know what it is that you believe in, and do not believe in.

JOAN: Why did you choose me?

CUTE BOY GOD: Cause I felt like it. Go to St. Matthew's Church and sign up for Confirmation classes.


	5. Big Me scene five

a/n: Sorry I've been out of town so I couldn't update, I feel really bad.

Scene Five:

(_GRACE'S house—GRACE'S bedroom. LUKE and GRACE)_

GRACE: _Luke_, I've already talked about my mother.

LUKE: Grace, seriously, let's be big about this—

GRACE: Dude, I've been big about this, now I want to be a child and pretend for one night, that my mother doesn't exist.

LUKE: (_Eying her suspiciously)_ Okay, fine. But…umm, are you going to go to the—

GRACE: Alateen? Yes, okay? Let's drop it!

(_GRACE leans in to kiss LUKE, LUKE resists the kiss turning his face away from her. He looks hurt.)_

GRACE: Luke, I didn't…didn't mean it.

LUKE: Mean what? For it to come out that way? Grace, it seems as of lately, that you don't mean a lot of things to come out the way they do!

(_GRACE looks at LUKE as if he had just slapped her in the face finds no words. Now fade to front of St. Matthew's church where JOAN is seen walking in. A PRIEST is sitting at a table where confirmation sign registrations are.)_

PRIEST: Hello, Joan.

JOAN: You know, God, the whole 'keep it on the D.L.' thing really isn't your forte.

PRIEST: Joan, I have to stress, the confirmation class is a choice. You have to choose to enroll.

JOAN: You, of all people, should know how I respond to your speeches of freewill.

PRIEST: Take a pamphlet, and think about it.

JOAN: You already know what I'm going to do.

PRIEST: I don't all the time, sometimes, you humans shock me. Watch out for the puddle Joan!

(_JOAN slips and begins to fall backwards until she is caught by a rather handsome boy her age.)_

BOY: Hey, are you okay?

JOAN: Er…yeah, I'm fine, thanks.

BOY: I'm Jacob.

JOAN: (_clearly flustered and embarrassed)_ H-Hey, I'm Joan. Joan Girardi.

JACOB: Well, Joan Girardi, it was nice meeting you. If you decide to do this whole confirmation thing, take the ten a.m. class…I'm in it.

JOAN: Okay…haha…well I gotta go.

(_Fades to GRACE and LUKE.)_

GRACE: LUKE! I've said it enough! I just don't want to talk about it! I've talked about it—I've been talking about it!

LUKE: No, you've been putting it off for weeks now!

GRACE: No! It's been at the forefront of every conversation as of lately! I'm sick of talking about it…you know just leave! Seriously go!

LUKE: Grace…

GRACE: No, I'm done with this! Get out of my house.

_FADES TO BLACK, END OF EPISODE ONE!_


	6. Hot 'n' Cold scene one

Episode Two: Hot n' Cold

(_JOAN sitting in living room watching T.V.)_

GOD: Joan.

JOAN: Don't thousands of people get this channel?

GOD: Yeah, but only you see me. Okay, now to be serious.

JOAN: I have to battle Ryan, I know.

GOD: No, Joan, it's not Ryan today that you should be worried about.

JOAN: It's Grace isn't it?

GOD: Sorta.

JOAN: Wait, does this have to deal with the reason why my brother is sulking?

GOD: Talk to her, Joan…before somebody else does. Bye Joan!

(_GOD then changes the channel from MTV to the NASA channel in time for LUKE to walk down the stairs to see it)_

LUKE: Joan, are you seriously watching _This Week at NASA_?

JOAN: Umm…yeah.

LUKE: What nothing else on?

JOAN: No, it's umm…okay no nothing good is on.

LUKE: Oh! This is the one on the Hubble Telescope! Grace—

JOAN: Is everything okay between you two?

LUKE: Technically we're not a two anymore.

JOAN: You're not a three I hope.

LUKE: Nope, I'm singular, one, the product when you raise any number to the power of zero.

JOAN: I'm sorry Luke.

(_JOAN then hugs LUKE for a long silent moment at which we fade into a scene between ADAM and GRACE)_

ADAM: So let me get this straight, yo. You kicked him out?

GRACE: Yeah dude.

ADAM: Why?

GRACE: Because he was pressuring me.

ADAM: To have sex?!

GRACE: No, to talk…about feelings. I wish it was sex, it would have been easier.

ADAM: Yo, I know I'm not the king of relationships, but the dude loves you.

GRACE: He doesn't show that too well.

ADAM: Really 'cause that's not what I've noticed.

GRACE: I'm just mad.

(_Doorbell rings. GRACE goes down the stairs and opens the door to reveal JOAN)_

GRACE: What?

JOAN: I wanna talk.

GRACE: What is with you Girardis and talking?

JOAN: Grace, I know you may be my best friend, but Luke's my brother. And my brother is so upset for some reason that he can't even watch the NASA channel! So whatever is going on between you two, fix it!

GRACE: Jeeze Girardi, you don't have to yell. Come in…wait Rove is here. Is it too awkward, I can ask him to leave.

JOAN: No it's fine, I can go.

GRACE: Seriously, Joan, I'd rather talk to you.

(_ADAM walks down the stairs.)_

ADAM: Oh hey, Jane!

JOAN: Hey.

GRACE: Umm, so I guess I'm being forced to talk about my feelings huh?

JOAN: Pretty much.

GRACE: Look, I love your brother, but I was feeling overwhelmed, because he wants me to keep talking about my mom, and it really isn't solving anything for me. Okay?

ADAM: Grace, that's why?

JOAN: You dumped him over that!

ADAM: You dumped him?

GRACE: Oh my God, what did I do?

(_End of scene one)_

_REVIEWS ACCEPTED!!_


	7. Hot 'n' Cold scene two

(_Arcadia High next day GRACE, ADAM and JOAN at their lockers LUKE is sulking near the stairs with FRIEDMEN next to him.)_

JOAN: Grace just go talk to him.

GRACE: I feel like a girl...

(_GRACE walks over to LUKE while ADAM and JOAN talk among themselves.)_

FRIEDMEN: Dude.

LUKE: _(Standing straighter and visibly nervous.) _Grace.

GRACE: _(to FRIEDMEN) _Scatter weed-brain. _(To LUKE)_ I'm...sorry. I—can we go to the biology closet?

LUKE: Grace I don't want to make out.

GRACE: I'm not—I just need to talk to you.

LUKE: Fine.

(_Biology closet)_

LUKE: What did you want to talk about?

GRACE: I don't know what's gotten into me, call it hormones, I don't know, but I'm kinda freaking out.

LUKE: I think it's something else.

LUKE: (_simultaneously__)_You're bored.

GRACE: (_simultaneously)_ I love you.

LUKE: WHAT?

GRACE: _What? No!_

LUKE: Did you just--?

GRACE: Yeah, dude.

LUKE: Why did you dump me then?

GRACE: I don't know—I mean I do _know_ but I don't know know. Are you following this?

LUKE: No.

(_Meanwhile...)_

ADAM: So, Jane, how are you?

JOAN: I'm good, Adam. How's your internship?

ADAM: It's great, Ryan came by the other day; they're going to run one of my cartoons. It's kinda based off of Grace and the anarchy she preaches.

JOAN: I'm sure Grace will love it.

ADAM: Jane, do you think we could talk later?

(_Bell rings.)_

_End of scene 2._

_sorry it took so long to review, I've been ridiculously sick. REVIEW, IF I GET 2 PER SCENE I'LL UPDATE WITHIN THE WEEK._


	8. Hot 'n' Cold scene three

Hot 'n Cold scene three…

To show just how dedicated to this story I am, I'm updating/writing while out of town, in a hotel room…

(_After school. LUKE and GRACE)_

LUKE: Why now, Grace?

GRACE: I don't know, college?

LUKE: No, I don't think so…

GRACE: No it really is college…I got into Yale, which means I'm going away in August, and since we are now on limited time, I'm trying to make the most of it.

LUKE: Grace…

GRACE: (_peers nervously at LUKE.)_ I know I didn't tell you I applied. But before you get all upset and try to convince me to not go--

LUKE: Grace, you got into an IVY League school. I'm not going to change your mind.

(_LUKE and GRACE embrace as we fade to white. To JOAN and ADAM.)_

JOAN: You needed to talk to me?

ADAM: Yeah, Jane…umm I was wondering if we could talk about us. I'm really sorry about what I did. Will you please forgive me?

JOAN: Adam, I have already forgiven you, you know that.

ADAM: Really? (_Leans in to kiss JOAN. JOAN shifts and evades the kiss.)_

JOAN: Adam, just because I've forgiven you, doesn't mean that I can just get back together with you like that. You had my heart, Adam, and you, you went and slept with Bonnie. And now, you have to deal with the consequences of your actions…Especially if I do. (_tears begin forming, and JOAN quickly brushes past a now crying ADAM. CUTE-BOY GOD watches on from afar. GOD begins to run after the upset JOAN.)_

CUTE-BOY GOD: Joan! JOAN! JOAN GIRARDI!

JOAN: _(spinning around)_ What in Go--your name do you want now?

CUTE-BOY GOD: I want you to…umm.

JOAN: What?…Oh my goodness, you're at a loss of words!

CUTE-BOY GOD: No. Joan, I just don't want to say what I'm going to say.

JOAN: So don't say it, you're God.

CUTE-BOY GOD: I know…have you ever read 'Footprints?'

JOAN: No.

CUTE-BOY GOD: I want you to read it, Joan.

JOAN: Why?

CUTE-BOY GOD: You don't have too.

JOAN: God, we've been through this. I don't get the whole freewill thing. You ask me to do something, and I do it, that's our relationship.

CUTE-BOY GOD: Joan, I know our relationship.

(_From afar we can see RYAN and some other MAN talking to each other. CUTE-BOY GOD looks suspiciously at them.)_

_CUTE-BOY GOD: Joan, saying this year 'is going to be hard for you' is an understatement. Please be cautious._

_JOAN: Well, can't you do something with him?_

_CUTE-BOY GOD: Joan, I don't directly intervene…Read 'Footprints.' Good-bye._

_REVIEW!!!!! _


	9. Hot 'n' Cold scene four

Scene four

(_JOAN in the bookstore reading "Footprints" out loud.)_

JOAN:

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from

anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during

the most trying periods of my life

there have only been one

set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints in the sand,

is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson

(_JOAN's face is stricken with fear as she slams the poetry book shut and locks up the store. We pan to the GIRARDI household where they are beginning to eat dinner.)_

HELEN: Luke, no texting at the table!

LUKE: I am not texting, mom, simply checking to see if any updates were made with ATLAS.

WILL: Isn't that going to cause black holes?

LUKE: No, we don't have enough mass in our entire solar system to generate the gravity to cause one.

HELEN: Well whatever; eat dinner.

(_JOAN enters)_

KEVIN: Joan! It's about time you showed up!

(_JOAN rolls her eyes, sits and digs into dinner with the rest of the family. Worry, however, is written all over JOAN's face. Now, up in KEVIN'S room)_

JOAN: Ever get a bad feeling?

KEVIN: Everyday, and then I go to the bathroom.

JOAN: Eck! Gross! No, I mean like when you have a feeling that something bad might happen to you?

KEVIN: Are you going crazy again, Joan?

(_JOAN rolls her eyes and leaves.)_

_---Insert where a commercial break would be.---_

(_ JOAN'S room. A knock is on her window.)_

JOAN: Grace! What are you _doing _here?

GRACE: Clinging to a pole, you know Girardi, we've been through this. Can I come in?

JOAN: Yeah. Did you tell Luke?

GRACE: That's none of your business.

JOAN: I knew you didn't! He didn't act like you did! Why not?

GRACE: Well, maybe I did tell him, and he doesn't.

JOAN: Grace, yes he does.

GRACE: Well, he certainly didn't say it back.

JOAN: (_Gasping)_ NO!

GRACE: (mimicking_ JOAN)_ YES!

JOAN: Grace! That's horrible!

GRACE: (_pacing and ranting)_ And-you-and-ugh! He had more than two chances! (_sighing and flopping herself on JOAN's bed, pillow in GRACE'S face.)_ I feel like a girl.

JOAN: This is called paranoia.

GRACE: I got into Yale.

JOAN: That's great!

GRACE: No, it's not.

JOAN: I'm not getting something then.

GRACE: I didn't get into Harvard.

JOAN: Yeah, but you got into Yale.

GRACE: That's not the point. I'm too opinionated for Harvard.

JOAN: But, you got into Yale.

GRACE: I was supposed to get into Harvard.

JOAN: Grace, I'm not following.

GRACE: Harvard is down the street from MIT. Yale...Yale is much further.

(_JOAN gave a knowing nod and remained silent. Pan to LUKE in his bedroom. Laying on his bed holding and looking at a picture of him and Grace. He rubs the photo with his thumb.)_

_(GRACE is sitting in kitchen eating Cheerios while solving the word search on the back of the box. Enter LUKE. He does not seem to notice GRACE while he rumages in the refrigorator for milk. It is not until he goes to get the cereal from the table that he realizes GRACE is sitting there.)_

LUKE: Oh my God! Grace you scared the shit out of me.

GRACE: Dude, matching?

LUKE: (_returning her defensive clothing critique) _Pink?

GRACE: (viscously_ with a tone of hurt) _I'm not anti-pink.

LUKE: What is your deal, Grace?

GRACE: I went and had a total regime change, and you—you didn't even have the decency to say it back!

LUKE: Say what back?

GRACE: I dunno, how about 'I love you too' maybe!

LUKE: Grace? Do you really need words?

(_They look intensley at one another, as if magnets of opposite poles; They kiss passionately.)_

LUKE: _(Whispering as his lips travel to her earlobe then neck.) _I love you...

_FADE TO BLACK, CREDITS ROLL..._

Reviews are as always accepted. I love how no one noticed that Luke never said I love you too to Grace, and yet it was important. But seriously, people it doesn't take long to review a story. I would know, I do it all the time. So review, and if you want something in particular to happen, you need to say so in that review, and I just might go for it.


	10. The Sharpest Lives scene one

Episode 3 wow, I say an accomplishment...anyways: this one's called The Sharpest Lives. I wanted to note on my title choices: they're to the songs that made me think of an idea for that episode. So they're a sort of soundtrack I guess. Anyways...

The Sharpest Lives scene one:

(_JOAN and GOD are walking down the street.)_

GOD: Why don't you ask Jacob out?

JOAN: (laughing) Are you telling me to go on a date?

GOD: (_nodding his head yes)_ I want you to remember something that Ryan doesn't seem to understand. The sharpest lives are the most dangerous to lead.

JOAN: Okay topic jumper. So what's the game plan with this Ryan situation.

GOD: Joan, if I could tell you anything more without breaking the rules--

JOAN: Yeah, yeah, I know. You'd tell me everything. What I don't get is why you can't break your own rules.

GOD: Because it would show favoritism. Which would lead to anarchy.

JOAN: Not even a little hint?

GOD: Good-bye, Joan.

JOAN: Nothing?

GOD: Ask him out (_does 'The Wave')_.

(_The sun becomes oddly bright for the cloudy day, and then a sullen RYAN walks past JOAN without a word.)_

JOAN: What are you: freakin' depressed?

RYAN: You know, Joan, bury your head in the sand...you're gonna lose this one.

JOAN: (_Calling after him_)Yeah, well, I've got God on my side!

RYAN: _(Continuing to walk past her)_ Yeah, a 'god' that won't intervene...really great team.

JOAN: (_To herself)_Real smooth, Girardi, real smooth.

(_LUKE and GRACE, GRACE'S room)_

LUKE: So Yale?

GRACE: Yep...I applied for Harvard.

LUKE: And you didn't...

GRACE: (_smiling)_ Made it to an interview.

LUKE: Who'd you tell off?

GRACE: (_laughing in hysterics)_ The Dean of Admissions.

LUKE: (_Rolling eyes and laughing)_ Beautiful....What did you do with Yale?

GRACE: They didn't ask my opinion, they asked for me to talk to them about just myself.

LUKE: That apparently went well?

GRACE: (_laughing_) No—but it's okay.

LUKE: What I don't get is why buy into the institution now?

GRACE: Because, I'm planning a total breech of the IVY League system.

LUKE: You're entirely serious.

GRACE: Yeah, so?

(_LUKE motions for GRACE to come closer to him. LUKE then kisses GRACE as we fade to a commercial break....)_

END OF SCENE ONE! REMEMBER REVIEW, it isn't hard to do...


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